Still Blue

Another day has passed by I can’t help to feel blue still. I stumble when I walk, I stutter when I talk, my eyes gaze away and I’m lost inside myself.

Everything is so blurry now and everyone seems to be so fake. I’ve been creeping out, crawling out from the hole that I dug with my sadness and loneliness.

I feel pity for what I’ve become, for letting go on the strength I used to have. Now I wake up every day the same way that I went to sleep … Thoughtful and hallow; whishing that I could move on for real, wishing that I would stop hurting on the inside out.

There are a million things that I’m grateful for and lots of people to be thankful for but even having all I’ve got I feel like there’s something I’m missing. I know that the ghost that used to hunt me before is now just a memory.

I’m still blue and I don’t know how to shake it off, sometimes I like to go to bed with arms around me but I like to wake up on my own. I don’t like loneliness; is my worst enemy but the moment that I feel like someone wants to reach out for me and offer me a save hand or shelter from the rain I slip away and out of sight. No one is good for me because I’ve got nothing to offer, I don’t believe in love anymore, I don’t want the hurt and I don’t want the suffering, nothing is real for me anymore.

I miss smelling the scent of someone on my pillows; miss sniffing on them and as I do a smile draws on my face because is the smell of my lover, I miss running my finger tips all over someone’s skin and watch that person shiver, I miss the feeling of waiting impatiently for the weekend just to see that person, miss letting myself go and get lost in someone’s eyes, miss feeling nervous and feel those butterflies revolving around my stomach because we are going to meet for dinner or just to talk, miss opening my eyes early on the morning and see a pretty face laying on my bed, that naked figure that makes me feel safe; makes me want to kiss it all over, just watch it sleep deeply and wonder what would that person will be dreaming about.

I guess that my biggest mistake is that I’ve been looking for someone that I don’t even know, I need to stop looking for love because instead of that all I’ve found is a bizarre version of it.

I cannot give someone what I don’t have, I can’t offer love if I haven’t forget and forgive. I need to start this new journey on my own, I need to fulfill my dreams and goals, I need to respect and love myself more. I’ve been digging another hole but this time is one to find out who I really am and not to hide away or burry myself alive.

I’m still blue but I won’t give up, soon I'll be walking over rainbows, looking at sun rises and sun sets, I’ll be feeling the breeze on my bones again and let the rain wash away my sadness, all of this unbearable grief will fade away and it’ll be gone with the fog.

I’m hanging in there,

JPablo Marín B.

I’m tired of being single

I’m tired of waking up by myself. I roll over and there’s plenty of room next to me; there’s no one waiting for me in the kitchen.

I’m tired of eating breakfast alone. I turn on the TV so there’s some noise while I make my food. It’s not conversation, but it’s better than silence.

I’m tired of having things happen during the day and having no one to tell when I get home.

I’m tired of being a third wheel. Or a fifth wheel. Or a seventh wheel. I act like it doesn’t bother me when we’re all hanging out, but really, it becomes just another reminder that I’m alone.

I’m tired of people telling me that they don’t understand why I’m single. Other people, they say, it’s easy to figure out why they’re alone. They’re mean or angry or have no drive.

I’m tired of people saying that they’re sure I’ll meet someone who’s wonderful and smart and more beautiful than all of the girls I’ve dated before. And then, they promise, I’ll be so happy that nothing else will matter.

I’m tired of seeing a movie, or some other event that would be a lot of fun to take a date on. And then just not going.

I’m tired of my friends telling me that the last girl I asked out…the one who turned me down…isn’t good enough for me and she’ll regret it someday.

I’m tired of hearing that another one of my ex’s is getting married. Or engaged. Or is in a serious long-term relationship that seems to be “heading somewhere.”

I’m tired of coming home after work to an empty apartment. I don’t get to discuss the day or ask anyone how their day was.

I’m tired of cooking for one. Which usually means I make too much and either throw the rest out or try to freeze it. But then I have no one to remind me that I have leftovers, so it just goes bad anyways.

I’m tired of unwinding by myself. The couch isn’t nearly as comfortable without someone to cuddle with.

I’m tired of going to sleep alone. It’s clear that only one person has slept there. And only one person will sleep there again tonight.

I’m tired of being single.

Note:

I found this on the net and I felt as if I wrote it and then forgot I wrote it. But, the truth is that I didn’t write this at all.

Don't You Love Me Anymore

Oh oh
I thought I'd see you smile
When I walked in the door
Thought those arms of yours would be open wide
The way they were before
Why do you look at me
Like I'm some stranger now
Why do you pull away
When you used to hold me so tight

Don't you love me anymore
Have your learned to live your life without me
Don't you love me, anymore
When did the fire go out
Where did the feeling go
Did it slip away when I wasn't there
Baby now I've come home
I thought you'd want me babe
I was so sure you'd ask me to to stay
I thought you'd need this too
Guess it didn't work out that way

Don't you love me anymore
Have you learned to live your life without me
Don't you love me anymore
Darling
When did the fire go out
Where did the feeling go
Why do you pull away
When you used to hold me so close baby
Don't you love me anymore
Have your learned to live your life without me
Don't you love me anymore
Don't you love me anymore
Have your learned to live your life without me

Song By: Joe Cocker

A Kiss

A kiss…

Def: Is the touching of one person's lips to another place, which is used as an expression of affection, respect, greeting, farewell, good luck, romantic affection or sexual desire. The word comes from Old English cyssan "to kiss", in turn from coss "a kiss".

Biology and evolution

Anthropologists have not reached a conclusion as to whether kissing is learned or a behavior from instinct. It may be related to grooming behavior also seen between other animals, or arising as a result of mothers premasticating food for their children.

Kissing allows prospective mates to taste and smell each other's pheromones for biological compatibility. Women are subconsciously more attracted to men whose major histocompatibility complex portion of their genome is different from their own, leading to offspring with resistance to a greater number of diseases due to heterosis, and thus having a better chance of survival.

Non-human primates also exhibit kissing behavior. Dogs, cats, birds and other animals display licking and grooming behavior among themselves, but also towards humans or other species. This is sometimes interpreted by observers as a type of kissing.

The physiology of kissing

Kissing is a complex behavior that requires significant muscular coordination; a total of thirty-four facial muscles and 112 postural muscles are used during a kiss.The most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle, which is used to pucker the lips and informally known as the kissing muscle^. In the case of the French kiss, the tongue is also an important part. Lips have many nerve endings so they are sensitive to touch and bite.

Health benefits

Affection in general has stress-reducing affects. Kissing in particular has been studied in a controlled experiment: increasing the frequency of kissing in marital and cohabiting relationships was found to result in a reduction of perceived stress, an increase in relationship satisfaction, and a lowering of cholesterol levels.

The attributable actions of Kissing

One needs to understand that as such actions inherently within us, there as been developments into understanding the different actions that have come to be associated with kisses; ranging from the blowing of a kiss to an intimate touching of lips with respective individuals. A show of emotions have come to be associated with this form of actions; from communicating ones affections to relaying one's understanding of what the other person might be feeling deep down. Understanding this feelings alone perhaps draws on many historical events, documented stories, written out journals on all types of behaviours that allow for kissing to take shape.

Note: I wanted to share what a kiss is from different points of view…

Someone asked me a couple of days ago why I don’t like to kiss while I’m in bed with someone; my answer for that was… “I don’t like to kiss unless the person in bed with me will be my partner… ”

Some people will laugh at me and say that what I think is stupid but is actually what I feel I can’t change that, surfing through the net I found this …

"I will not kiss you unless an emotion compels me to" has always led the subjective mind of every individual. Take which ever stance you might prefer to take, kissing definitely can be linked to all kinds of studies been examined through anthrological studies of what we perhaps need to sustain ourselves.

My lips are sealed, I won’t kiss unless I feel something special about a particular person, someone that’s will move every inch of my skin, that special someone. I’m not afraid to use my lips. I just don’t want to share that w/ anyone.

A kiss can also be a double-edged sword; you can either fall for someone because of it or someone can fall for you, anyway the results are always the same, one will end up hurt.

Kisses, use them wisely cause you’ll never know if they can be someone’s weakness!

Source: Wikipedia.com